relationship

RELATIONSHIP 106; TRUST NO ONE!


Smiles...  yeah! It's been awhile since I last posted anything on here. A lot happened over the period of time and I just couldn't sit down to put up something. Well, I'm back now and ready to stir your mind with some interesting posts. I want to also say a big thank you to all who reached out to me during the period and to all who all who have been following this blog from day; sharing and inviting their friends to do same. Thank you so, so much.

'Trust No One!' Now... where to begin? Ah, yes. I watched a TV series some years ago titled, 'This Life'. In one of the episodes, there was a scene where a man asked his 11year old son to jump off the roof of their bungalow apartment into his waiting arms. He was trying to educate his son about life. 'My son jump' he said,... 'jump! I'll catch you.' The son scared to death, crying said, 'Papa, if I jump, I'll fall.' His father reiterated, 'Jump, my son! I'll catch you. Trust me.' The hesitated but his father called out to him out to him again with his hand stretched out, 'my son, trust me. I'll catch you.' The young man jumped and guess what? His father didn't catch him. He incurred an injury from the fall and while he was down crying, his father said to him, 'my son, the lesson you need to learn about life is never to trust anybody. Trust no one, my son!'

Interesting, Is it? The above scene likely mirrors the experience of someone reading this blog post, even if under different circumstances. It may be that you had a firsthand bad experience in a relationship or someone close to you shared their experience with you and you made up your mind never to trust anyone as a result.
The biggest change in our lives occurs in the absence of fear. All the negative emotions you can think of; anxiety, insecurity, guilt, jealousy, selfishness etc spring from fear. Distrust is also a product of fear. No one can experience love, intimacy and truth they need stuck in distrust neither can they give it. 

Finding it hard to trust or living with the slogan of 'trust no one' is a state of mind; a stronghold in the mind holding vivid holding image of past hurts or the memories of what happened to a close friend. People living that slogan perceive anyone coming into their lives as a potential threat. They wear protective armor to feel safe and build an impenetrable wall around themselves to keep 'bad people' away. However, the problem is that, the wall shielding them from 'bad people' is also them from developing intimate relationship with 'good people.'

Even if they allow themselves to be in a relationship, they can't bring themselves to completely trust their partner. They're always on guard, looking out, monitoring, suspicious and questioning every intention of their partner. They resist discussing their personal life, disclosing their vulnerability and admitting their challenges. In fact, distrust hinders authentic communication in a relationship because 80% of the communication with is spent arguing a pointing figures. Lastly, people living with that slogan always end up feeling frustrated and exhausted (physically and mentally) in a relationship.

Bae/Boo, 😊😍 there's so much good in this world to remain imprisoned in one bad experience. So much love to receive to shut the door of your heart against. Yes, trust is built over time but it will take forever if you find it hard to trust yourself. Trust begins with you. It extends from you to others. You can't trust yourself and not trust others. You see the world the way you are. Living with such a slogan is too much burden to carry. Let go of the past and trust again. Breathe the free air and let your fears flow out.

I'll leave you with the words of Henry L. Stimson: 'The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.''


Lots of Love.

About Jemine James

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