‘‘You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless’’ Songs Of Solomon 4:7 MSG

This might sound crazy but praying for the right person is pointless! Because our definition of the right person, is someone that will fit perfectly in our box that wouldn’t drag us out of our comfort zone. Someone that will meet our need and not someone that we will be truly free to accept and allow them be who they are. Like my friend will say, ‘what are friends for if not for inconveniences?’’

When we give up the search for the right person and seek to be the right person, we’ll start growing in love and stop putting people on our weigh balance; judging them. Sincerely, what makes someone the right person for you? And what makes them the wrong person?

The best way to truly love someone is from the understanding of the love of God for us. In that, his love sought us out in our wrong state and made us right. Seeking the right person limits our ability to go all out in love. But being the right person opens us to love. Let’s talk about love.

Love is not self-seeking. It exudes from within us to others, but they are not the motivation for it. Love has its source within itself; its strength is independent of the person on which it is expressed. Love is a decision to commit to meet the need of another person for life without expectations. It anticipates their needs and meets them. That is love! Love is a servant not a boss. It seeks to serve; that is its invariable characteristic and chief distinction.

However, the sad truth is that the world works in a way that we are continually being led away from love to fear. Fear is insecurity. It seeks intimacy with control and always seeks out the faults in others. It is selfishness, as it only wants what’s in it for itself and not others. This is the root from which praying for the right person springs from because its focus is on the other person being good enough for us. Bae, there’s no such thing as the right person. Boo, It is our love for them and openness of mind to their uniqueness that makes them right.

Imagine if we all approach relationship from this perspective wouldn’t it be amazing? Much of what we are experiencing in our relationships wouldn’t be happening and the fear of dating the wrong person will be complete eradicated from our minds. Am I saying there will never be a time that we would fight? No! Absolutely No! Of course we will fight; fight not like throwing punches…lol. But in the midst of any disagreement we will be able to communicate graciously and in love with the intent to bind the cord of our relationship tighter together. 

Charles Spurgeon once said, ‘Love stands in the presence of faults with her hand on her lip not with her teeth on your hand.’’

Love seeks intimacy through acceptance and release. In the end, it is our decision to accept the other person that makes them the right person. Let’s stop praying for the right person and start being the right person by going all out in love! 

The journey into reality is just beginning and there’s a lot to shed light on. I employ you to patiently follow it.

Lots of Love!

About Jemine James


  1. This article made my 2016 worthwhile when it comes to relationship. You have simply said the best. Its so painful that our generation has reduced love to feeling, lust and infatuation without knowing what true love is and on the basis of this so call feeling a lot of people!e have entered wrong marriages, wrong relationships that has landed them in tears, pain and depression. I chose to love from God's perspective, he is the very epitome of love. Thank you for this post GOD bless your good heart.

  2. Thank You Paul. You're very kind! I'm glad the article was of great value to you. You can also share with others, so they have same experience.

    compliments of the season.


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