I’ll like to start by saying; the purpose of relationship is not for two incomplete people to become one, but rather for two complete people to join together as one. A lot of people go into relationship in pursuit of happiness and completeness from the other person. They say stuff like, ‘I just want someone that will make me happy and complete me, someone that will always be everything for me’’. And when they finally get involved with that person and he/she isn’t meeting up with their expectations, they opt for a break-up.

Babe, you can’t depend on another person for your completeness. You might not know but that’s the root from which complications arise in relationships. You expect the other person to fill the void in your heart that only your self-acceptance can fill. Besides dear, it’s a whole lot of responsibility to put on him, and I’m not sure how you’ll be quite comfortable with that. No one can complete you. You must understand your completeness and be at home with yourself as you are before you’re able to be at home with the other person’s inconsistency. 

“This is it!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own bone and flesh! Her name is ‘woman’ because she was taken out of a man.” Gen 2:23-24 TLB

Relationship is for two complete people; two people that are complete in the knowledge of God’s love for them and that will be able to manifest that level of love to another. See, the goal of relationship is for two people to be able to see each other from the point of their completeness and be able to accept the other person in same light; complete in spite of any inadequacy. 

God’s idea of relationship is quite different from our own. In our perspective, a good relationship is one in which the other person basically behaves the way we want them to and never presses our buttons, never violates our comfort zones. We try to use relationships to serve our own purpose and emptiness simply because we’re not complete in ourselves and so cannot relate properly with the other person.

Bro, if we’re truly complete in ourselves, we will allow the one that we’re in love with behave in any way they choose to, accept them for who they are without it affecting our love for them and making us uncomfortable with them. We will open our heart and being to them and appreciate their uniqueness. Relationship exists to support and inspire growth in the other person, not growth into what we want them to be, but growing into all they can be. And the truth is we can allow them that freedom only when we ourselves are completely free to grow also into all we can be

Hey James, aren’t there roles each person is expected to play? Yes, there are! You’ll see them in subsequent post. But I'll like to leave you with this, roles are by-products; they spring from understanding the basis, because when we don’t understand the basis, we will abuse the roles. Selah!

Friends, it took a complete Adam to see Eve the same way he saw himself with no expectation on her to do this or that, to be this or that but simply to be herself and he loved her for it. Be in a relationship with yourself before entering into a relationship with another person. Embrace your completeness!

Lots of Love!

About Jemine James


  1. Replies
    1. Yes! That's the root from which a healthy relationship is groomed.

  2. I agree with you. But then, compatibility between two lovers is what makes a successful relationship. What do I mean. natural compatibility is what brings about bliss in any union. alot of us jump into a love relationship train just because of the euphoria of being in love without considering other factors.

    Do we often consider things like honesty, tendency for commitment, generosity, aggression, tendency for being promiscuous, selfishness, caring attitude, or even unromantic nature, miserly attributes, irresponsible nature etc from opposite partner....Before taking a sit in the relationship train? No, we don't. and we often suffer for it at the end of the journey.

    Know the personality you are dealing with before considering any romance. How do we know their personality one would ask? It is through their year of birth. So that one can never be deceived by outward appearance.

    Some people are natural givers as a result of the year they were born, while others are naturally selfish, no matter what you do or tell them, they will never fully change this, also due their year of birth.
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