relationship

HURTS!




At some point in our lives, we all have experienced one form of hurt or the other; either as a result of heartbreak from a relationship, by losing someone dearest to us to death, by being abused, raped, rejected, or as a result of separation from siblings and parent due to divorce etc. And at that point, we feel so twisted up inside like the whole world has risen against us and we hope for the ground to open up and swallow us. Life becomes meaningless and we no longer see reasons to live. The place of love is replaced with fear, trust with betrayal, joy with anger, and forgiveness with vengeance. Deep down in the midst of all these, we feel these hurt are unique to us; that we’re the only ones having such experience, and our hearts begin to resound with endless questions of  ‘why me?’’,  ‘why would such a thing happen to me?’’,  ‘why would God allow it?’’

It is very painful for instance, to have given yourself to someone without reservation; to have poured out your love upon him/her, and to have made yourself available to them, only for him to break your heart. You’ll feel betrayed and find it hard to trust or lose the tendency to trust. And say to yourself, ‘I’ll never open myself up again. No one will ever get another chance to hurt me like that again.’’ Likewise, the breakup of a home creates a tremendous amount of anxiety for children, as they face life with so much uncertainty of the future; they don’t know what it holds. Fear and anxiety creeps into their hearts which at a later stage gives way to anger and hostility.

Hurt is a hidden inner attitude that we carry around. It is the most excruciating pain anyone can feel. Hurts produces three kinds of persons: the one who gives in, the one who fights back and the one who lets go.

The one who gives in is one who is consumed by the hurt and remain caged in the prison of grief. This person finds it hard to come out of the hurt and has a way of defining life from the point of hurt and he/she becomes very suspicious. ‘Never trust anyone’’ becomes their slogan.

The one who fight back is the one who pays back. He/she is aflame with hurt and seeks to spread that flame on everything along his/her path. He or she is fueled by vengeance, ‘if I can’t get back at the person who hurt me, I might as well do it to someone else.’’

The one who lets go is one who has been able to deal with the hurt, who accepts that yes it happened to me but it doesn’t mean the end of the world and then moves on. But this person tends to be more careful in his/her approach to life.

No matter the degree of hurt you experienced and you feel you can’t love anymore, can’t connect anymore deeply, can’t forgive past a certain point, here’s what I want you know:

‘He (God) heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.’’ Psalm 147:3 (Emphasis mine) NLB

Anchor your heart on the love of God for you; be assured that no matter how severe the hurt you experienced or are still experiencing, God is right there with you to pick you up, take away the pain and give you the ability to love again and live life happily.

You may have thought or concluded that God has a hand in your pain like Job and that he is trying to teach you character through it. But the truth is God doesn’t use pain to educate us on character. He teaches us by His love and His love has no pain in it.

“Oh, Job, don’t you see how God’s wooing you from the jaws of danger? How he’s drawing you into wide-open places— inviting you to feast at a table laden with blessings? And here you are laden with the guilt of the wicked, obsessed with putting the blame on God!’’ Job 36:16-17 MSG

Lastly, you must understand that while you’re unique, your hurts are not. Many have gone through what you're now experiencing and God came through for them in the same way he came through for Job. Don’t give in! Rest in the love of God for you in Christ and be overwhelmed with his peace.


Lots of Love!





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