‘‘…to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved’’ (Ephesians.1:6)

The emotional soil our roots are planted in has a bearing on our entire lives. God’s pattern for family life is that a child receives the notion of divine love in the strong protecting love of the father and the warm emotional affection of the mother. When a child is born into a family he/she is totally defenseless and dependent on the family, and it is during these formative years of their life that they receive the message of identity. A child brought up in a loving atmosphere and home faces future relationships with security and confidence. However, this seems not to be the case, as many children don’t receive that level of strong protective love and warm affection from their parents.

Psychologists tell us there are three parental attitudes that are absolutely necessary for a sense of security and the development of a wholesome personality in a child. These are; acceptance, affection, and approval. A lack of any of these things will be interpreted by the child as rejection. 

Rejection may come as deliberate hostility from others, or as failure to communicate acceptance. Rejection is often communicated in its more subtle form by parents not being emotionally available for the child. And if for some reason love and acceptance was not properly communicated to us during the formative years of our lives, we will face all other relationships with suspicion, mistrust and insecurity except we come to a place of understanding the one person who is more concerned about us than our parents: God.

If a child has not been properly rooted in love, his/her entire lifetime will be a struggle against fear and anxiety. They expect to be let down, left out, ignored, and rejected. The rejected always expect the present and the future to be a repeat of the past. They seem to get hurt in almost every encounter with others. The fear of rejection is a severe form of insecurity. Parents who reject their children usually do so because they were rejected. Likewise those in relationship act in the same manner to their spouse because they never actually wanted them from the start but driven by their desires, they got involved with them and afterwards rejecting the other person. Also, children are often rejected because they were unwanted right from the start.

Rejection says nothing about your true worth, but redemption says much about how priceless you are and that you’re worth 100% the blood of Jesus. Redemption says God found a treasure (you) in the field covered with dirt and for the joy of you, gave everything to possess you as His own. Knowing how much God loves you and how far He went to prove His love for you is what frees you from the feeling of rejection.

Rejection is not being wanted, valued or regarded as insignificant. It brings shame; and shame like guilt has to do with how we feel about ourselves. Unlike guilt which is based on our performance, shame is feeling bad based on the way others have esteemed us. But shame is deeper than guilt in that guilt says “I made a mistake”, Shame says, “I’m a mistake” and it causes us to hate ourselves. If you have been rejected, God knows all about it. In fact Jesus suffered rejection more than any other person. He had no form nor comeliness by reason of his suffering that there was no beauty in him that you should desire him. He was despised and rejected of all men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief and all this he did for your redemption. (See Isaiah 53:2-5)

‘‘Seeing then that we have a great high priest that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the son of God let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities but was in all point REJECTED like we are…’’ (Hebrews 4: 14-15, Emphasis mine) 

You are God’s beloved child; accepted, approved, and the object of His affection in Christ. He loves you unconditionally and is deeply concerned about every detail of your life. Resting in the knowledge of His love for you is cure for rejection.

Grace to you!

About Jemine James


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